Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
- Acceptance helps a child feel Secure
- Appreciation and affirmation help a child feel Significant
- Affection helps a child feel Lovable
- Availability helps a child feel Important
- Accountability helps a child learn Self-Control
- Authority helps a child learn to Obey and make Wise Choices.
THE FOUR C’S IN DISCIPLINING.
Calm
Stay calm. Often easier said than done but if we want to be effective and diffuse a situation it is essential.
Having worked with hundreds of house parents over the years, here are some of the ways that have worked for others
- Take time to breath. In for a count of 7, hold for 7, breathe out for 7 and then hold the pause before your next breath for 7. Unless it is a real emergency where you need to act swiftly, this is one of the most effective ways of stopping yourself from ‘reacting’ and allows you those few moments to pause so you can then ‘respond’ to the situation instead.
Connect
Connect with the child in whatever way you can. Children under 6 are usually less than 3 and a half foot in height. Most adults are 5ft or over. So it makes sense that we should sit, hunch or come down to their level so that we are not overpowering them and so that we can connect with them.
Eye contact where possible is very effective (for anyone with teenagers please ignore that last statement as if you are trying to make eye contact with a teenager they are likely to think you are freaky and run a mile-much better at that stage to be side by side in the car or somewhere like that!!)
Connect with the child in whatever way you can. Children under 6 are usually less than 3 and a half foot in height. Most adults are 5ft or over. So it makes sense that we should sit, hunch or come down to their level so that we are not overpowering them and so that we can connect with them.
Eye contact where possible is very effective (for anyone with teenagers please ignore that last statement as if you are trying to make eye contact with a teenager they are likely to think you are freaky and run a mile-much better at that stage to be side by side in the car or somewhere like that!!)
Give them and the situation your undivided attention.
Clear & Concise
Clear & Concise
Keep your message clear and concise. Explanations are important in giving children a context for something or engaging co-operation. However, in the event of a challenging situation (or where they already have the information) it is best to keep it simple.
It is easy for us to get lost in dealing with the behaviour or response we are getting and loose sight of the original message.
If you have a child who is very persistent, stick to one or two words. Bed time ! Bed time. Bed time now!
Consistent
Know what your HOUSE rules or boundaries are and communicate them at a time when all is calm. If they are broken, restate the boundary and what the consequences will be if it happens again. If it does happen again, apply the consequences. Be consistent. Do it calmly whilst connecting with them and restating clearly and concisely why the consequences are being applied.
Know what your HOUSE rules or boundaries are and communicate them at a time when all is calm. If they are broken, restate the boundary and what the consequences will be if it happens again. If it does happen again, apply the consequences. Be consistent. Do it calmly whilst connecting with them and restating clearly and concisely why the consequences are being applied.
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