Louise told us yesterday how she trained the four foster mothers on affirming a child and then I suddenly remember the Care principle for parents and especially for fathers.
Consideration
The concept of consideration is that we show careful thought and attention to family members and their needs and concerns. Look for ways to be attentive to the children's needs, feelings and priorities. Children are very different and need very different approaches but all need consideration. It still rings in my mind a Dad saying to his children show a bit of consideration. I often wonder Dad or Mom how much consideration do you model. After I preached about the house being a safe haven where all members feel safe and grow and develop, I realise again how important consideration for each other is in the family.
Appreciation
Showing appreciation seems to be a little thing, but it reaps big dividends in a family Louise told the foster mothers to start with saying "thank you" when they come into the room and find it orderly or when someone has cooked a good meal. A simple expression of thanks with a little hug can mean a lot. And it tends to make the children a little more likely to do the right things next time when mom or dad take time to tell them thanks. Try adding a little appreciation to your parenting repertoire.
Respect
Parents come let us try acting respectfully of our children and see what happens. Just a little common courtesy goes a long way. One way to start respecting is to stop taking advantage of others. I read this”We have a daughter who takes great pride in leaving the kitchen immaculate when it is her turn to clean up after dinner. Because she does such a good job, we tend to turn to her when we need an extra job. It would perhaps be more respectful to spend time helping another child learn better cleaning skills than to take advantage of her talent to the detriment of her free time.” So many parents criticise when children make their own beds in stead of saying a good try. I appreciate your effort.
Empathy
The process of empathy, or the sensitivity and understanding of what others are going through, involves putting yourself in another's situation and feeling what they feel. Empathy is when we try to understand someone's feelings from their perspective, and then we desire to help that person
Spending time with your children in activities that communicate consideration, appreciation, respect and empathy will teach them skills, will help them know that they are important, and will bring them to a higher level of cooperation in your family and in their social worlds. Empathy develops as a child's brain and thinking abilities develop, but parents can have a big influence on the resulting empathy their children have. If they encourage empathy, their children will be more empathic to others. If this is neglected, children get out of practice and may stop being so empathic. Children must receive lots of empathy to be able to act with empathy.
If we want our children to feel empathy and to help others, we need to help them. While some development happens as a part of growing up, parents can increase their child's potential. "Parents have a sacred duty to...teach their children to love and serve one another." (Quote ) There are dramatic differences in children with empathy and without. Dad and Mom please understand how necessary it is for you to show empathy wherever you go but especially to your children and each other.
