Vision

Graceful parents will give their children a vision for their lives. Yes, they will tell their children I believe that you are going to do great things. You have the ability.And the parent will help them find their niche It is more than words of their affirmation. It is affirmation plus.

Parenting and grace

I would like to inspire the world to change their homes and their lives to graceful living. Just think of a child born into a home where grace abounds. It will be so wonderful to grow up in a house where people believe in me and show it. How wonderful to grow up with a positive self-image but still be humle. Children who have everything going for them in an atmosphere of love and grace. And have zeal for God and spend time with God.

Parenting and disciplining at the Thamsanqa Cluster Foster Homes.

Please read my previous article and comment if you would.  My wish is that we will be able to lead (caoch) the foster mothers into grace-filled parenting. We do our utmost best to give to the children a safe home. What I also realise is the importance of discipline and boundaries. I firmly believe that children should be brought up without scream or shout. We have few rules and the child who does not stick to the rules will know what the conbsequences are -  no pocket money, no TV, no outing etc. etc.
It is a process to teach the foster mothers as there are things that she must unlearn and then she must be taught about consequences. 
This idea of a safe haven that I wrote about in my previous article, this is what the Thamsanqa Cluster Foster Homes are all about - a place where children can be children, where children laugh and play. The Dutch volunteers are such a great help in this regard.

THE ABC OF A FAMILY IN THE GRIP OF GOD'S GRACE

How does this family look like and how does this family operate? What does graceful parenting entails? I thought about this a lot during  the past few weeks. Children  seriously benefit from a home where grace is in place. I wanted to write three words down that will be the blueprint for this family but unfortunately more and more words came and I nearly used the complete alphabet.

A.     ATMOSPHERE. In this home (family) there is an atmosphere of grace and of loving kindness. This stands out above everything. In this atmosphere of grace, the members are affirming each other. AFFIRMATION.   They do out-loud affirming. Shame is not part of this family. ABUNDANCE. They have an abundance mentality in every area of their lives. Children flourish in a home where grace is in place.  The members of this family will feel cherished and favoured. They live in the grip of God’s grace.

B.     BELIEVE. They believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. They have accepted Jesus as their Saviour  and understand God’s grace - that He has given his only begotten Son for us to have everlasting life and have it more abundantly. They also believe in themselves. – a positive self-image. They receive BLESSINGS UPON BLESSINGS UPON BLESSINGS.

C.     CARE. There is a spirit of care. They cannot stop caring for each other and caring for other people. CHURCH. Every Sunday morning everyone is up and ready to go to church. CONFIDENCE.. They know their parents care and that God cares. COMMUNICATE. They have good communication skills. In this family matters are being discussed, information is being shared, decisions are made together. The children or some family members will not be kept in the dark. They do not believe in secrets.  Communication is clear and straight. Threats do not exist. They do not devise evil in their hearts against each other. The members are CREATIVE, CAPABLE AND CONTENT.  I love the word content in a family set-up. Everybody should be content.( Consistency and consequences are used with discipline in the next paragraph).  

D.     DYNAMIC AND DARING. They are not afraid to take chances or risks as they feel safe and comfortable. In this grace-filled home children are empowered.,  DISCIPLINE. There is graceful discipline in the home. There are rules with consequences. The rules and consequences have been formulated in a family meeting. They are consistent and followed through without scream or shout or threat. Children need boundaries and especially moral boundaries.

E.      EXAMPLE. Their home is an example to the rest or the world of a Godly Home. They are examples of grace. They edify and build each other.

F.      FAVOUR. Grace is God’s unmerited favour. Every member of this family understands God’s unmerited favour. They know – we have His favour.

G.     GRACE UPON GRACE UPON GRACE. GOD is in control. Grace-full words are being used 

H.     HOLY SPIRIT. The Holy Spirit is their guide and comforter. They live Holy lives. .HEALING.  They believe in God’s healing powers. HEALTHY – they are healthy and eat healthy foods.

I.        INTELLIGENT. They are intelligent and incredibly interesting. They believe that they have the mind of Christ.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

J.       JOY. I like this one so much. The members are joyful and jubilant. JUST.  The parents are just and every member feels secure and justified.

K.     K IND.  Kindness speaks through all their acts. Jesus was kind and so are they.

L.      LOVE. God’s love is being reflected in their lives. They love each other, they love their neighbours and they even love their enemies. This lifestyle of grace and loving kindness is seen in every aspect f their lives.

M.    MERCY. I hope you know the difference between grace and mercy. Grace is unmerited favour. Mercy is when you have done something wrong and the other one shows mercy to you. This means that  they forgive easily.

N.     NURTURING. Good care is taken of the members of this family. They are well nurtured and well nourished – physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

O.     OURS is important as well as OTHERS. They respect our things as wells as other’s things. They respect our feelings as well as other’s feelings. They do things for each other.

P.      PLENTY. There is plenty of everything for the family members. The fruits  of the spirit are plentiful - love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control.

Q.     QUIET. They are quiet in the Spirit. QUICK. They are slow to anger and quick to forgive.

R.     RADICAL. Radically saved was the first I could think of. RESPOBNSIBLE is just as important.  They know their responsibilities and act responsible. RELATIONSHIP. They have excellent relationships with each other.  

S.      SAVED AND SLOW TO ANGER. SAFE. The house is a safe haven for its members.

T.      TRUTHFUL  God is love and truth. Honesty is an important characteristic.

U.     UNDERSTANDING. The parents are very understanding of their children and their challenges. There is mutual understanding

V.     VICTORIOUS.  The members live victorious lives as they are victorious in Christ. They are VIRTUOUS people.

W.   WORK TOGETHER. There is a team spirit.

X.     X

Y.     YAHWEH. They are children of Yahweh.

Z.      Z

Anyone wants to help me with the X and the Z ?

The opposite of a grace-filled family is a shame-based family. The child in this family gets the idea that he is defective, that he is not loved. There is too much criticism in such a home.

Some parents have a pre-occupation with fault finding  and blaming. In a grace filled home it will be more important to boost the child’s self-image than to make a fuss about a bed that is not well made. Feelings and emotions and affirming are more important in a home where grace is in place, In a shame based home parents will not make their owns beds but will shout at children because they did not make their bed to the expectations of the parents. In the graceful home the parents are people oriented rather than performance oriented. It should be about who we are and not what we do. The behaviour must be criticised and not the child. The child must never, not under the worst circumstances doubt the parent’s love.

I think that is enough for today. I will write more often on my parenting blog now.